Carrying on, head held high. Really high.

 Packing up and leaving Rochester without Porter was an act of sheer will. We didn't want to do it. We didn't want to do anything but sit in silence and try to bridge the gap between what our hearts and heads knew. He was gone, but a very real part of each of us could not accept it as reality. He was supposed to be with us and thats all that mattered. We received our hugs from Jane and Tony and set out with the Winnie, Zo and ourselves. That night, our destination was Thunderhead Brewing in the heart of Nebraska. They participate with Harvest Hosts, an app that serves to locate overnight parking for members at any number of breweries, wineries, golf courses, farms and any other type of business that might like an additional scrap of business in trade for a square of real estate for the night. 

We took our time getting there. Erin pulled the Winnie with the truck for the first time. It was a nice respite for me as I'd been doing the driving. We showed up sometime in the evening, checked in, put some water from the spigot into the tank and settled in. It was in the middle of nowhere. I was sure we were in for a very quiet night. Boy was I wrong. It became evident soon after we laid down that the highway traffic of cattle transport trucks and trains every hour blaring their horn would do all they could to insure a broken, low quality and short nights sleep for us all. 

The next morning we were Denver-bound. We got going early. After some deliberation over taking backroads or the highway, we merged onto the interstate and picked off the miles west. Erin's brother Randy lives in Arvada, CO, which is a lovely suburb of Denver, and where we spent the night. None of the home's inhabitants were in attendance that evening as they were beginning a summer adventure of their own, but were gracious enough to allow an overnight stay. We really needed it. We had Indian from Yak and Yeti, our favorite, and went to bed rather early. After about 5-6 hours of the 4th or 5th night of crappy sleep in a row, I awoke somewhat nervous about the days events. The drive from Denver into the mountains is not for the faint of heart. It's steep up and down with many many curves and turns along the way. It is, however, spectacularly beautiful, much like so many things in life that can and will kill you in an instant if you're not careful. It wasn't just the driving of it that gave me pause, it was pulling our trailer with my modest truck. Ive done a lot of work to it to make it as capable as I can, but it had never been tested the way it would during this 2hr journey. 

We left Denver around 1 or so. We spent the morning visiting with my brother Matthew and a friend of his who happened to attend a concert at Red Rocks the evening before. I always consider myself lucky to spend time with Matt. As many wonderful things in life his company is often fleeting and can be difficult to nail down. Once we said our goodbyes, Erin, Zo and I piled back into the truck, Winnie in tow and headed west once again. 

The drive went surprisingly well. There were a small handful of times I was nervous, but the more I got used to using the sport shifting feature of the trucks AT, the more control I had climbing in the right gear and more importantly descending in the right gear to keep brake use to a minimum. We arrived without issue, unloaded the trailer and truck and got to bed early for another miserable nights sleep. 

Rocky Road

 I had full intentions of keeping up with posting more frequently, but circumstances descended on us immediately upon our departure that drew both Erin and I inward and required our full attention mentally and emotionally. At many points we considered heading home. 

Travel Day One:

Our first day in the car was a normal drive through PA, headed due west. Our destination was a little family farm in Amish country. After the ups and downs of the PA mountains, it was nice to have a very quiet spot to collect our thoughts and recharge. That night there was a spectacular display put on by the lightning bugs behind the camper. Id never seen so many in one place. We ran the air conditioner as it was warm and quite humid. 

The next morning we got up early and did all the morning things and piled into the truck. As Porter got in I noticed his elbow was swollen. I called Erin over to verify. He'd had a bad infection a few years earlier that burst open and remained unhealed for a couple of months until we had a wound specialist reconstruct it. I worried we were looking at the early stages of the same thing. We located a vet that was open and took him in immediately. 

Blood was drawn and tests were conducted and all showed a perfectly normal Porter. So the vets wrote us a script for some pain meds and told us to ice it. The remainder of the day was spent driving to the home of my uncle, Calvin Meineke in Palos Park right outside of Chicago. Once there we were greeted by a few cousins and a jovial Cal and his wife. Porters leg was shaved around the swelling and it became a topic of discussion. We retold his medical history for the 3 thousandth time and went to be around 11. At 1 we all woke up and Porter needed to go outside to poop. He did this throughout the night. I was lucky to have gone back to sleep in the camper instead of where Erin and Porter were as it was very warm in the house. 

The next morning Porter's leg was much worse looking. It was very swollen and turning red. We spent all morning trying to procure antibiotics for him and get them in his belly. He refused to eat his breakfast which was another huge red flag. Once we force fed him his meds and verified he was not going to throw them back up we piled back into the truck bound for Rochester, MN. 

That evening, we arrived and settled into my aunt Jane's house. She and her husband, Tony were very accommodating hosts. Porter had started to limp quite badly, which he did not do the previous day. We gave him his meds and dinner, which he mostly ate and all went to bed. The following morning, his elbow looked even worse. It was, somehow, more swollen, red and started to turn black. We decided to take him to an emergency vet in town. It was, of course, the 4th of July. 

The emergency vet was very concerned with his condition. She recommended we take him to a partner office in St. Paul 1.5hrs away to have him put on antibiotics and pain meds for the night so the specialists could look at him the following morning. Back into the car we went. This was around 12pm. By 12am the next day we finally arrived back at Jane and Tony's. Porter was safe at the vet and they would care for him overnight. The following morning we got a call from a surgeon who intended to open up and clean Porter's elbow as it had burst open overnight. We were heartened by this. The previous time this happened it was some time before we got him to the wound specialist and it seemed we were just skipping over that step this go-around. But the remainder of our trip was in serious question. 

That evening we got a follow-up call from the surgeon. He indicated that there was a significant portion of Porter's skin that was dead and, after removal, left a hole in his leg. As soon as I heard this I got a sinking feeling. He said that over time his skin would granulate back together and that he would have to have his bandage changed regularly. He might also be a candidate for a skin graft to replace it if it wouldn't heal. Shit. Healing was not Porter's specialty. He'd been on Prednisone for a couple years and slowed healing and diminished immune function were hallmarks of its use. We knew he couldn't recover. We knew getting him into and out of the car for a 3 day journey back to NJ was an impossible task. We were faced with an impossible decision but we both came to the same conclusion. 

Erin called the vet's office to halt any further action beyond providing Porter comfort. We made an appointment for the following day at 11:30. 

We are down to one pup now and will never really be the same without our boy. We had 10 wonderful years together. 4 of them were health-issue free. The last 6 have been fraught with complication and worry. Porter was not an easy dog. He barked at everyone. He was intensely anxious. He had health problems galore. But he was the sweetest, snuggliest, most loyal pup anyone could hope for. We were so lucky to have him in our lives and will miss him the rest of our days. We love you, Porter. You are such a good boy. Mommy and Daddy love you so, so much. Tell the boys we said hi.

Summer 2023 Preparations

 Well, it's been a minute. This summer my wife, Erin, our two dogs and I are driving out to Colorado and Wyoming for 6 weeks. We have been preparing for quite some time. There are 2 weeks left of school and we are finalizing plans and details. We intend to pull our 22' camper behind my truck for lodging during travel and our time in Jackson, WY. We've used it extensively on the east coast over the last few years and know it well, but this will be our longest stretch in it. Anyway, I won't bore anyone with the details of our packing preparing, but this will be where I post information about our trip. 

Here I am sitting in starbucks again. Ive found myself here, or at a variety of locations "here" a lot lately. Im working for Creative Notions again this summer. That is a company that I worked for for two kyears when I first moved to Jersey. It really kept me afloat when I otherwise would have had to move home to NC. I love the work. I travel everyday to at least two different Nursing Homes or assisted living homes to give lectures and guided art activities. It is draining though. I have to drive a lot according to my standards. At least two hours per day. Lately its been putting me in a cranky mood.

So Im here at starbucks again. Yesterday I bought a starbucks card for 5 bucks which works like a credit card, but also grants me 2 hours of internet access/day

the card has a balance.

starbucks fits into my day at lunch. my first class usually starts around 10 and the second around 2. so there are usually a couple hours to kill in between. Most classes are too far from home to go there, so ive made it a mission to find shop rite supermarkets that ive never been to and starbucks coffee shit holes to pilfer internet from. Id have loved to get it for free, but even in this day of wireless everything, the internet is still somewhat hard to come by. I know every starbucks has ATT internet. great marketing ploy on their part really. i keep coming back and usually purchase a tea of some variety.

The sky is very grey today. Its supposed to rain this afternoon. I hope not. Im tired of rain. I want to ride my bike also. I cant eat as much as i need to remain sane if i dont ride my bike. ive been counting calories lately to be lighter on the bike, and its been working to great effect and ive done better in races than ever before, but its hard to keep it down. days i dont ride, i only eat around 1500-2000 C. Thats a painful amount of food to eat. I get really cranky, and paired with the amount of driving this job has me doing, ive been a real shit lately. So, I want to ride my bike. If i can just eat a bit more, even if I burn it, its better than having not eaten it. enough about my teenaged girl tendencies.

Ive been really inconsistent about this blogging thing. I dont sit down and type enough. Ive plenty to say, i just dont like to type.

I ate the best figs EVER today. They were amazing. They were green and from california. I got them at Wholefoods. I dont normally go there for anything, but i was hankering for a good salad and knew they would have it. The salad was great but the figs were beyond compare.

Im sitting in Montclair, NJ today. Its a relatively affluent area with lots of clean shops and pretty ladies walking around spending their husbands money and hanging out at starbucks. Its a little over the top, but comfortable enough for my intentions.

This morning is the first of a coveted few that i get to enjoy free from the constraints of a timely arrival at my regular work. School is over and I am prepping to start my new job for the month of July as a summer program instructor for kids. I will be teaching basket weaving. The program is just over three weeks long, four days a week and gets out after lunch time. It should be a good month.
Training is going well. I recently got over Lyme disease though. I was not fit for my first race of the season as I had planned to be, but raced anyway and had a great time. Mostly because it was a slopfest and I decided to pull the trigger on building a Single Speed. Last saturday I spent cobbling this poor thing together, then raced it on Sunday. Great times. The Dark Horse Challenge, as the race is dubbed, proved to be another memorable event. Next weekend is another local race. I will probably be a bit better prepared for this one. my legs are feeling good and responding well. If I can keep the ticks at bay and dont over reach my training goals, I should be ok for the rest of the season.. ha, ha.

I ordered a new Iphone last week. excited, silly as it is, for the damned thing's arrival. ATT and Apple really know how to get folks excited about a trinket.

Ryder, my dog, isnt doing so well. He is constantly falling and tripping and having a hard time. I hope he can make it through the summer. He seems generally happy, but very uncomfortable and scared most of the time. I remember when he was completely unstoppable. Why do some animals get "old " faster than others? It seems a very odd concept that most people take for granted, but completely befuddles me. any insight from the peanut gallery?

Memorial day weekend just past and a great number of my fellow New Jersians dutifully made a pilgrimage to the Shore. Millions of them. So, I stayed home where it was very quiet and free of undue stress. I had Friday off from work as my place of employment did not see fit to utilize all of the snow days built into the calendar and gave us one back! So, I spent the day riding, doing chores and hanging out with Erin. My ride was somewhat disappointing. I was supposed to do a time trial that showed improvement over the same activity five weeks ago, but it did not. I was too tired from riding too hard the day prior. Some lessons must be learned over and over. So I bagged it and rode home.
Saturday was great. I rode in the woods with Matt and Mellisa at Allamuchy. I felt decent and my bike seemed to be cooperating with me, so I had a good time with it. Wouldnt you know, maybe a bit too good of a time with it. I had to postpone the TT scheduled for the following day for the day after. No problems. Monday rolled around and I made the trek to the secret, perfect 6 minute hill and did the deed. Deed done, I was pleased. It seems that when I dont muck up my own science with too much fun I can clearly see results.
So with the end of Memorial Day Weekend and my latest rest week behind me, I look forward to working hard to put that well deserved rest to good use. No more days off from work till July 4. The next training block will be tough and very regimented. If all goes well, I should be ready for Stewart.